Best Bonus Day Quotes From Managers

Bonus day quotes from managers(i think i heard them all)
1)I’m as angry as you are.
2)First the good news,congratulations on your promotion.
3) There is unlimited upside if the stock appreciates.
4)This doesnt leave the room,but you were highest paid in the group.
5)I fought as hard as I could for you.
6) We will make it up to you next year.
7) In no way does this reflect on your value to the firm.
8) There is a theoretical cash component as well.
9) I paid you some out of my own pocket.
10) This whole europe mess has really spilled over.

Bonus: Don’t blame me, I voted Republican!

The Lack of Jobs in the U.S.A

If you start any company in the US, you immediately go into business with the US government.
The US government will provide you with zero capital and no labor but what they will do is regulate the products and services you sell, the wages you pay and when and where you can operate your business.

In return, the government will take 50% of what you make. On top of the 50% that they take from you , they will take another 12% in things such as: social security taxes, unemployment taxes, medicare/medicaid fees, and more.

So even if you can make money after paying all those fees and you make it big and sell your company; the government will charge you another 20% for the capital gains you made by selling the company at a profit.

So now that you are retired and living off your earnings, the government will take one more shot at you when you die. So when you go to bequeath whatever is left over to your children, the government will then in turn take 50% of all your assets- yes the dreaded death tax!

If you don’t agree to all these terms, the government will arrest you, fine you and imprison you. If you underpay your taxes at any time, the government will charge you a usury interest rate on the money that you did not properly pay.

If you’re the government, it’s a great trade. They get to keep half of your profits and none of your losses… and then the people in Washington wonder why there are no jobs.

A Nation of Suckers-Great Video on the Bailout

Alan Keyes

The Brits fight back.

Our Tax Dollars At Work

The financial crisis explained in simple terms

I am not the author of this article but I have seen it passed around and thought you would enjoy it.

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin . In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi’s bar.

Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Finally an explanation I understand…

Buy Beer and Get Rich

This is from a Bloomberg that has been circulating around- I don’t know how to verify it, but it does sound pretty accurate.

* If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

* If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

* If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

* But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank it all, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refunds, you will have received $214.00.

It just goes to show in this crisis, your best returns would have been from buying beer and getting drunk.

The Big Mac Index

The Economist comes out every year with the Big Mac Index, and although I would like to take credit for it, it is a simple and easy way to see if a country’s currency is under or over valued based on the cost of the Big Mac in that country. Or as they put it ” The Economist’s Big Mac index uses the concept of purchasing power parity which states that the dollar should buy the same amount in all countries. Over time, the exchange rate between two countries should move towards a rate that equalizes the price of an identical basket of goods and services in each country.Comparing the cost of a Big Mac in one country against the price in another should indicate whether a currency is over- or undervalued.”

Here are this years rsults:

2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002
===============================================================================
—————– Big Mac Price in U.S. Dollars —————-
Argentina 3.30 3.64 2.67 2.29 1.55 1.60 1.43 1.43
Australia 2.19 3.36 2.95 2.44 2.44 2.46 2.33 1.86
Brazil 3.45 4.73 3.61 2.78 2.74 1.99 1.76 1.48
Canada 3.36 4.08 3.68 3.14 3.01 2.60 2.34 2.21
===============================================================================
2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002
===============================================================================
—————– Big Mac Price in U.S. Dollars —————-
Chile 2.51 3.13 2.97 2.94 2.98 2.56 2.47 1.95
China 1.83 1.83 1.45 1.31 1.30 1.26 1.23 1.20
Czech Rep. 3.02 4.56 2.51 2.67 2.60 2.45 2.19 1.96
Denmark 5.07 5.95 5.08 4.77 4.49 4.97 4.72 4.10
Hong Kong 1.72 1.71 1.54 1.55 1.55 1.54 1.55 1.47
Hungary 2.92 4.64 3.33 2.71 2.71 2.85 2.38 2.18
Indonesia 1.74 2.04 1.76 1.57 1.54 1.57 1.93 1.84
Japan 3.23 2.62 2.29 2.23 2.19 2.50 2.47 2.19
Malaysia 1.52 1.70 1.60 1.52 1.47 1.33 1.33 1.33
Mexico 2.30 3.15 2.69 2.57 2.66 2.12 2.21 2.18
Philippines 2.07 1.96 1.85 1.62 1.56 1.42 1.24 1.24
Poland 2.01 3.45 2.51 2.10 2.09 2.06 1.68 1.62
Russia 1.73 2.54 2.03 1.77 1.60 1.49 1.42 1.32
Singapore 2.61 2.92 2.59 2.27 2.20 2.19 1.95 1.86
South Africa 1.66 2.24 2.22 2.11 2.29 2.44 1.97 1.84
South Korea 2.39 3.14 3.14 2.62 2.56 2.36 2.80 2.73
Sweden 4.58 6.37 4.86 4.53 4.28 4.46 4.15 3.60
===============================================================================
2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002
===============================================================================
—————– Big Mac Price in U.S. Dollars —————-
Switzerland 5.60 6.36 5.20 5.21 4.93 5.46 5.11 4.59
Thailand 1.77 1.86 1.80 1.56 1.51 1.52 1.51 1.38
Turkey 3.13 4.32 3.66 2.72 3.07 2.80 2.94 2.34
USA 3.54 3.57 3.41 3.10 3.15 3.00 2.80 2.71

Catholics, Acorn and Obama

This past election showed that a majority of Catholics voted for Barack Obama even though his record and his views makes him the most pro-abortion President. For Catholics, abortion is a mortal sin. The Catholic church views abortion as a sin so grave that one could lose one’s soul by partaking in it. The Catholic Church is not a human organization, rather it is the living, breathing embodiment of Christ. It is not a club, one can not be a Pro-Choice Catholic. It is not a supermarket where you get to pick and choose what parts of the faith that you accept and what parts you don’t. To be clear if you think you are a Pro Choice Catholic, you aren’t. (You are not Catholic) The faith you profess to believe in is not Catholic . By denying one of the teachings of the church, that individual has placed himself outside of the church.

This past Sunday the Catholic Church actually took donations for “Campaign for Human Development: The Catholic Church working to end poverty and injustice in America; We’ll turn your dollars into hope for the poor of our nation.” Just so you know (CHD) does not go for charity but for radical Obama-style community organizing. Over the last ten years, CHD has given $7.3 million of Catholic-donated dollars to a group called ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now).

CCHD’s executive director, Ralph McCloud, admitted to Catholic News Service that “some of the funds that the Catholic Campaign contributed to ACORN in the past undoubtedly were used for voter registration drives.”

Employees of ACORN and affiliated organizations like Project Vote have been either indicted or convicted of submitting false voter registration forms in 14 states, in June 2008 CCHD approved grants of $1.13 million to 40 local ACORN affiliates for the cycle beginning July 1, 2008. Those grants were ratified by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops at its June 2008 meeting. (Source Phyllis Schaffley)

So by giving to this charity, Catholics unknowingly participated in voter fraud. But Acorn is not only involved in voter registration they were also involved in petitioning the government and banks to loosen their lending standards

Acorn was actively involved in targeting Fannie and Freddie Mac to get them to lend money to people under normal circumstances that would never qualify for a loan. With the threat hanging over them, banks began to lend to people with no income, no credit and no jobs.

Barack Obama took Acorn and through agitation forced banks to change their standards into wealth redistribution centers. With the banks and the economy now in taters, Obama can now move in and change the shape of the American institutions. A move away from freedom into one where government calls the shots.

God’s greatest gift to man was Freedom. God never obliges any one to love him or follow him it is always man’s choice. By electing Obama, US citizens have now elected a leader who does not believe in Freedom but rather in redistribution. These two ideas are mutually incompatible and the outcome of these two opposing ideas and how the battle that will now ensue will not turn at well. What is most disturbing is that Catholics, who should know these things have unwittingly given money and their votes to someone who abhors what they believe in.